I want to be the prettiest girl?

Although I'm male, I cannot help but revert time and again to feminine things ... I even wore women's deodorant at university ... OK I know that's tame compared to full-on cross-dressing :P but I never wanted to wear women's clothes, just relax and recline and be fabulous like women are, yet at the same time keeping all my manly bits ... hmmm ... but I am not attracted to men I don't think, I just want to be one of the girls, and have pretty girls admire my pretty face, and talk and gossip and so on, and eat sweet things before going to bed at night. :)